title card with photo of Bonnie Parrish-Kell and her bike. Photo by Bonnie Parrish-Kell, 2017, all rights reserved.

Race Ready? Oh-oh!

title card with photo of Bonnie Parrish-Kell and her bike. Photo by Bonnie Parrish-Kell, 2017, all rights reserved.
It’s almost time to race! So why do I talk to myself like this?

If I’m really race ready then why does my self-talk go all whiny and negative? This always happens when I’m days away from a major race.

To be more precise I’m about 10 days away from the Nevada Senior Games’ 5K cycling time trial and less than 14 days away from the Huntsman World Senior Games’ 5K cycling hill climb and 20K cycling time trial. My 1500 meter and 5K race walks happen the following week.

Self-Talk Ahead of Race Day

You know where my head is? I hope so, because I don’t!

Well, actually, I do. My head is not in the game and neither is my heart. Without both working together, the end result of all my events will be…well, not what I initially envisioned.

Rationally, I can point to a variety of “reasons” for this malaise:

  • Ongoing foot issues that have disrupted training plans and efforts,
  • Months of intense Las Vegas summer heat that drained my energy levels,
  • Time off for a vacation,
  • Juggling a hectic schedule of work and family responsibilities, and
  • A recent bout with seasonal allergies

But my bigger question is why does this happen so often before my big races? A psychologist could help me dive deeper into the issue but I have a few ideas.

I’ve noticed that whenever my schedule (a.k.a. Life) doesn’t go according to expectations (a.k.a. perfectionist plans), my inner child throws a temper tantrum, pouts, cries “Why bother?”, and then doesn’t want to play anymore.

While I don’t remember my exact thoughts, I know the process is filled with negative thinking and criticism. Nothing overly dramatic or over-the-top, just those subtle, energy-draining types of thinking that can quickly escalate into self-loathing and a feeling of “Why bother?” that feels horrible.

I wish my inner parent would step in sooner (again, maybe something that psychologist can address). As of this moment, I’ve accepted the fact I’m not in the physical shape I hoped to be in at this point in time. So, I’m just going to show up, have fun, and try again next year (to qualify for the 2019 National Senior Games!).

What’s the Point of All This?

That life isn’t perfect, and things will not go according to the plan I set forth!

The point is this: Focus on the JOY of cycling, and the FUN of being with friends. 

What do you think? Let me know via Twitter, the Slowpoke Divas’ Facebook page, or use the contact form.

 

Originally titled “What are You Saying to Yourself?” on Sept. 27, 2017. Updated including new featured image Sept. 5, 2023.