What are You Saying to Yourself?


I’m about 10 days away from the Nevada Senior Games’ 5K cycling time trial and less than 14 days away from the Huntsman World Senior Games’ 5K cycling hill climb and 20K cycling time trial. My 1500 meter and 5K race walks happen the following week.

You know where my head is? I hope so, because I don’t!

Well, actually, I do. My head is not in the game and neither is my heart. Without both working together, the end result of all my events will be…well, not what I initially envisioned.

Rationally, I can point to a variety of “reasons” for this malaise: ongoing foot issues that have disrupted training plans and efforts, months of intense Las Vegas summer heat that drained my energy levels, took time off for a vacation, juggling a hectic schedule of work and family responsibilities, and a recent bout with seasonal allergies.

But my bigger question is why does this happen so often before my big races? A psychologist could help me dive deeper into the issue but I have a few ideas.

I’ve noticed that whenever my schedule (a.k.a. Life) doesn’t go according to expectations (a.k.a. perfectionist plans), my inner toddler throws a temper tantrum, pouts, cries “Why bother?”, and then doesn’t want to play anymore.

While I don’t remember my exact thoughts, I know the process is filled with negative thinking and criticism. Nothing overly dramatic or over-the-top, just those subtle, energy-draining types of thinking that can quickly escalate into self-loathing and a feeling of “Why bother?” that feels horrible.

I wish my inner parent would step in sooner (again, maybe something that psychologist can address). As of this moment, I’ve accepted the fact I’m not in the physical shape I hoped to be in at this point in time. So, I’m just going to show up, have fun, and try again next year (to qualify for the 2019 National Senior Games!).

Perhaps the ultimate point to all this is to find the joy in the situation…especially in the moment.

What do you think? Post away below!

About Bonnie Parrish-Kell

Publisher & Chief Diva here at Slowpoke Divas. I always feel better after a good workout or matter how sore I am afterwards. Tweet me @bparrishkell or @slowpokedivas. Instagram: @slowpokedivas